He’s sure it’s actually easier for him to see the difference than it was for Mary and Dean even Cas, for some reason.īut everything that came after-the warning signs, of which there had assuredly been more than one the mood swings, the harsh gestures and words.
Not then, and not today either-not even when he’d been singing, goading Sam like a toddler, using familiar lines-there wasn’t ever really a moment that Sam got them mixed up. He’d just about collapsed from the shock when Nick had tried to sit up, then crumbled back down, unconscious but Nick so obviously wasn’t Lucifer. Saving Nick’s life in that church was still the right thing to do, Sam knows that. Sam tries to wedge himself upright on the wheel, lying across the horn: the noise is his lifeline. The noise in his head is loud and long, strident, persistent, splitting him open. Patching Nick up was-it felt good, like holding his breath and pressing on a bruise.ĭean deserves to enjoy an I-told-you-so, at this point. She’d smiled the way she often smiled, without her eyes, in a way which meant nothing at all.)īut he knows now it hadn’t been because of them, not really. Said, it wasn’t that bad, and hadn’t been long anyway. (When Sam had asked, vaguely, she’d been noncommittal with the details, said, oh, you know. To spare Cas, who had spent months possessed to spare Mom, who’d spent an uncertain amount of time in that other world one-on-one with Lucifer.
He even told himself it was to spare the others. But Sam had been the one to bring Nick back, so Sam volunteered. In fact, Sam’s pretty sure he was being fundamentally selfish.Ĭas would have taken it on, if Sam had asked Sam knows. You don’t have to martyr yourself, Sam, he’d said, it doesn’t have to be you taking care of him, like Sam was making a sacrifice. When Sam broke it to Dean, that Nick had survived and they’d been getting him back on his feet, Dean had told him that it wasn’t his responsibility. “We should have just ganked the guy,” Dean says. Jack did a good job pasting his skull back together. “You’re still looking green around the gills,” Dean tells him.
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